The Space In Between Read online

  “No matter where this night takes you, Emery, enjoy every second of it. Moments like this are fleeting, so make the most of them while they come. I love you baby.”

  Leaning down and kissing the side of my cheek before enveloping me into another warm embrace, I hug her back harder, as her words and the emotion behind them hits me.

  I’m the luckiest girl in the world having this woman as my mom.

  “I will, but only if you promise to do the same with Mr. Hot Pants.”

  “What did I say about calling him that?” she laughs, planting another kiss on my forehead before turning to head down the stairs.

  “It’s more than the pants that are hot?”

  “Exactly, and don’t you forget it.”

  *****

  “Oh my god, Mikey! You need to try this croissant. It’s sooo good!”

  When Christian picked me up at the house and told me where he was taking me for dinner, I gotta admit, I was pretty damn scared. I’ve heard about this place and how it’s the place to be for movie stars when they’re in town shooting which if you’re not keeping up, makes it super high-end.

  The very last thing some random girl from the east side of town is.

  But, just like every other time I judge something before giving it a fair chance, I was wrong.

  From the moment we stepped in, I felt like I was starring in my own personal fairy tale and even though I’m sure everyone knew we were underage, they didn’t treat us like we were. Everyone was respectful and kind and it didn’t take long after we’d taken our seats and ordered that I felt completely at home.

  Christian picked the perfect place.

  Our dinner—some random assortment of fish and vegetables—was fantastic. It having been so long since I actually had seafood, the minute I saw salmon on the menu I was sold. I also may have attacked it with the same ferocity Christian ate my spaghetti on his birthday, that’s how much of an impact it made.

  “If you promise not to moan, I’ll try it.”

  Memories of McDonalds flash through my head and for a second I debate whether or not to recreate them, but taking a look around and seeing all of the other couples around us, decide against it.

  Making Christian blush is going to have to wait until later.

  “You know I can’t help doing that. Maybe if people would stop making such delicious food, I might be able to contain my reaction to it.”

  Leaning over when he moves in, I hold the warm dessert in my hands, bringing it back once he’s taken what has to be the world’s smallest taste.

  “You could have taken more than that.”

  “Wow.” He remarks once his eyes, which had closed when he took the bite are open again and he’s swallowed.

  “I know, right? If Heaven was amazing food, I’m pretty sure this baby right here would be God. I’m also pretty sure I know what a food orgasm is now.”

  “Emery….holy shit.” He chokes out after his laugh gets lodged in his throat and he’s done pounding on his chest enough to be able to speak again. “Are you trying to kill me?”

  “Nope. Why?”

  “Sure as hell feels like it.”

  “What did I say?”

  “Nothing. I’m not giving you an excuse to say it again.”

  Despite playing dumb, I know exactly what I said that set him off, and I laugh at how well he knows me. “It was orgasm, wasn’t it? Wow, Mikey. I never figured you for a prude.”

  “I am not a prude.”

  “Sure as heck looks like it from where I’m sitting. Who else but a prude would get all flustered when someone says orgasm?”

  Leaning over the table after taking a quick look around us, obviously wanting to keep whatever he’s about to say next private, he waits until I do the same and then grins.

  “There is nothing prudish about the things I imagine when you say that word. What I would like to take you home to do to you in order to have it be me giving it to you and not the food.”

  Well…shit. It’s not funny anymore.

  Now it’s kind of hot.

  Damn him.

  “Message received.”

  Grinning even bigger, he leans back in his seat and taking another bite of his whipped cream covered pie, slips his tongue out over his bottom lip slowly before rolling his eyes up and into the back of his head, releasing a moan of his own. A move that with the playful smile still tugging on his face, he’s aware that I’ve seen and that will never be able to be unseen.

  Yeah, that’s it. I’ve had my fill.

  The croissant and this place, it’s time to love it and leave it.

  I need to get him alone.

  “What if I said I wanted to get out of here?”

  “I’d want you to tell me why.”

  Taking a final bite of my croissant, moaning softly as it fills my mouth with flavor again, I pick up the napkin and wipe it delicately over my hands, motioning to my now empty plate.

  “I’m finished, and I want to take this party on the road to our next destination.”

  “You mean back to your place?”

  “Pretty much. So what do you say? Are you in the mood to grant anymore of my wishes tonight, genie?”

  My earlier moaning, a revenge tactic for the way he teased me running his tongue over his lips minutes before, it’s gotten me the response I’m after. Christian, for all of his attempts at teasing, is now the one fighting not to react.

  Exactly what he deserves after trying to mess with the master.

  Tossing his own napkin down and motioning across from us to where our waiter making his way back around to us, he signals for the bill and then turns back to me, his eyes heavy and filled with the desire I know that our teasing created.

  “Your wish is my command, fair Juliet. Let’s go home.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Christian

  Have you ever gotten to see something so stunningly beautiful, so magnificent; that you have this momentary lapse in time and you’re rendered completely speechless?

  The vision making its way toward you and when it gets within your grasp, you physically feel as though you’ve just had one of the most moving experiences you’ll ever have in your life?

  That’s what happened to me when Emery opened her front door and made her way down the path to me earlier, and it hasn’t let up since.

  From the drive to the restaurant, to us getting there and eating dinner, even the playful way we were over dessert, it’s like I’ve been completely stunned into submission.

  Now that we’re away from the world’s prying eyes and I’ve gotten her alone, I’m able to start piecing together what it was that caused this to happen.

  I could have easily written it off as the way it always feels when I’m with her. I could’ve blamed the day too, given that it’s one of the most romantic ones, but after following at a safe distance behind her as we walked up the stairs to her room and studying her as she gently laid her purse down on the desk, I think I’ve figured it out.

  It’s just her.

  From the way her hair is resting raised at the top of her head, different from her usual way of wearing it down, to the light shading of makeup I can make out on her face, all the way down to the coup de grace of the dress that seems to both hug her body and flow away from it at the same time. It’s the way she looks tonight.

  The vision that made its way toward me earlier in the evening…it’s her.

  Emery is the vision.

  She is what moves me and what makes my heart beat. The girl that with one look can bring me to my knees and make me soar at the same time.

  It’s this realization that takes what I’ve been feeling for weeks—my love for her—and twists it until it creates this overwhelming need inside of me to speak it aloud.

  But first, I need to give her the present.

  “Now that you’ve got me alone in your room, what do you plan on doing with me?” I ask, choosing to lead with humor and shoving the rest into the background.

&nb
sp; “I was thinking of stripping you naked and having my way with you, but something tells me that wasn’t the answer you were looking for.” She winks, the straight face she’d been struggling with as she speaks finally caving in as she laughs. “To be honest, I just wanted to get you alone. I didn’t give it much thought after that.”

  “Not even on the ride home?”

  “Oh, you mean when you had the stereo up so loud I couldn’t get a word in edgewise, much less a thought?”

  Remembering the ride home and how I did turn the radio up when the Ed Sheeran song came on, I immediately feel horrible. “Was it that bad?”

  “No, but that’s only because I happen to like your music taste. Especially when you’re making it with me.” She slaps me playfully on the arm before squeezing. “But before you make me choose something to do, since I know that’s what’s coming, I have something for you.”

  Turning away and digging around in the drawer, she pulls out a small black box with a dark blue ribbon and hands it over.

  “I know that usually I don’t like it when you spend your money on me, but after your birthday and what you did for Christmas, I couldn’t resist.”

  Untying the ribbon and handing it back to her once I’ve taken it off, I pull the top off the box and immediately feel what she must have when I gave her the necklace that’s been around her neck every day since Christmas.

  Speechless.

  A single dog tag on a chain, but instead of there being a puzzle piece like the ones I was looking at when I went in search of the perfect Christmas present, there’s a giant sized star directly in the middle with the two sweetest words I’ve ever read underneath.

  Emery’s Star

  Taking a step forward to where I can just make out the edges of her desk chair, I grab ahold of it before my knees completely buckle on me.

  Is this what it feels like when a solid turns into a liquid? Is it that fluid a motion where one minute, you’re as solid as a stone, and the next you’re just a puddle on the floor?

  “Do you like it?”

  This time, hearing the mild plea in her voice to soothe her concerns, I don’t waste any time with a reply.

  “I love it.”

  Releasing an obvious sigh of relief, she moves into me, throwing her arms around my neck, lifting herself up on her toes and placing her lips to my cheek, which at the last second, wanting more than just a peck, I turn into so that it’s my lips she lands on.

  My path to being completely liquefied in that moment reaching an epic conclusion.

  “After this, I’m pretty sure mine is going to seem cheesy.”

  “There’s nothing remotely cheesy about you, and after everything you’ve already given me, I know I’ll love whatever you do give just as much.”

  Moving over to her bed and lifting up my suit jacket, I bring out the box and walk it back over to her. Just like the Christmas present, this one is wrapped, but only because the picture on the top of the box, if shown, would have given it away long before I was ready.

  Handing it over, she doesn’t waste a second laying waste to the wrapping, destroying it a lot quicker than she did the last time we stood here and I can’t help laughing. Being with Emery makes me feel like a kid on Christmas, but watching her right now, it’s like she is the kid.

  “Whoa. This is our spot.”

  “Your spot actually, but since it’s the first place we kissed, I guess it can be ours.”

  “You turned it onto a puzzle?”

  “Yeah, and the best part is, it’s only 50 pieces. So basically a total breeze for puzzle losers like me.”

  Slapping me on the arm, but still showering me with that smile I adore so much, she pops the lid off and looks inside to where it’s still resting in its original plastic packaging, just waiting for her to put it together for the first time.

  “You didn’t put it together?”

  “I was thinking that the first time it would be better coming from you.”

  “Will you do it with me?”

  “I would do anything for you.” I admit, realizing my play on words too late. “With you, I mean.”

  “Not that it matters, but it was sweeter the way you said it originally, Chris.”

  After having her call me Mikey for so long and falling in love with the sound of it the same way I have with her, it still throws me when she calls me Chris, or worse, Christian. There’s always this few seconds where I worry that I’ve done something wrong to earn the change.

  As I’m coming to learn, she does it for a reason. She calls me Chris when she’s serious about something. When all thoughts of being playful have evaporated and she just wants to get straight to what matters.

  Another reason on top of the million I already have to adore this girl.

  Kicking off her shoes, she slips her hand into the desk drawer again, grabbing something out before heading over to her closet, opening it and grabbing out a medium sized broken down cardboard box.

  “What are you doing?” I ask when she drops the box flat on the carpet and slides herself down with it before patting the empty spot on the carpet beside her.

  Lifting the item in her hands and twirling it around, she grins up at me. “What does it look like? I’m gonna put it together and make sure it stays together forever.”

  Her words are so innocent, the meaning behind them so powerful, but instead of grasping onto them and letting them warm me, my stomach twists as they fall. I’ve done my best tonight to forget what I’m keeping from her, but with just a couple of sweet words strung together, it all falls away.

  “Hey…don’t you dare space out on me.”

  “Sorry,” I blush, embarrassed that I’d allowed myself to be caught. “So what do you need me to do?”

  “Plant your butt on this carpet and help me put together our perfect picture.”

  Looking at her face, so happy and serene, I don’t have the heart to tell her that if she wants to create the perfect picture she’s got to do it elsewhere.

  That ours is better left in pieces in the box.

  Emery

  It’s no Dora puzzle, but he was right. It is easy.

  Maybe it’s got nothing to do with how many pieces it is and it’s because I know the place better than anyone that I can do this so easily. I mean, with as much time as I’ve spent there, I can probably do it blindfolded.

  A theory I would have suggested we try, except right after we started, I seemed to lose him.

  He didn’t leave or anything, but I can tell he’s not here with me. I have the feeling that when I opened the puzzle, he started thinking about his mom and now he’s spacing out as a way to control the memories.

  I’ve spent the last few minutes taking the pieces he hands me and putting them in silently, but whatever’s going on, it’s not passing, so instead of trying to be supportive and give him time, I’m going for getting answers instead.

  “Christian, will you please talk to me?”

  Looking up from his position bent over the box as he flicks through the various pieces, he winces.

  “I’m sorry. I’m screwing up our date, aren’t I?”

  Shaking my head emphatically, I breach the divide between us and run my hand delicately down his face, attempting to let him know in a way I know my words won’t that there’s nothing that could ruin this moment for me.

  We’re both here doing something that despite how monotonous it can get, we both enjoy, and I’m happy. I can’t ask for anything more than that.

  I’ve got everything I need.

  “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news. You’re doing something far worse than ruining our date, Mikey.” When his eyes begin to fall, I place my hand under his chin and lift, making sure that his eyes are lined up with what is now my smile. “You’re enhancing it…or you will be once you tell me what’s going through your head.”

  “There’s something I need to tell you. I’ve been trying to come up with the best way to say it for weeks, basically since I knew for sure i
t was true. I’m not sure I know the best way to say it now, but I don’t think I can wait anymore.”

  “Umm…okay.”

  Now I’m actually afraid, but I’m not going to hold him back by telling him that. I can tell by the way his face contorts that whatever he’s been holding back from me is causing him pain. As scary as this is, as unsure as I am of what his next words are going to be, I’ve gotta curb it so that he can feel better.

  All I care about right now is making sure my Mikey is able to smile again.

  “It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook, how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all.”

  He’s quoting poetry. Fantastic. What does this have to do with what he’s been holding back from me?

  “I don’t get it.”

  “Emery, what Emmet Fox is saying…the last line, it’s my secret.”

  The last line. I repeat, going over his words, trying to remember it word for word and failing miserably. I was too confused by the quote to actually pay attention to the entire thing and now I’m paying for it. Just as I’m about to have him repeat it again or break it down in his own words so I can finally make sense of it, one word from it comes to mind and I don’t need further explanation.

  “Love.” I repeat and he nods slowly, the hint of a smile beginning to creep up the side of his face.

  “It was realization of love, but what I wanted you to remember, you did.”

  “What are you trying to say, Chris?”

  “I’m trying to say what I should have been saying…all along.” He stammers nervously, fidgeting with his fingers while looking from me to the floor and back again. “I’m trying to say that I love you, Emery.”

  Christian loves me.

  Okay, wow. I need to let that sink in for a minute. Hit stop on the tape and rewind. Push play and hope that I hear those four magical words again.

  I love you, Emery.

  Yeah, that’s it. Just like that.

  Tossing the puzzle piece to the floor, no longer caring about making our perfect picture when it’s taking place right in front of me, I move, and almost as though we’re synchronized, or he wanted this as badly as I did, I crawl into his waiting arms and I wrap my arms around him tight, all while his words play on repeat in my mind like a broken VCR that you never want to get fixed.