The Space In Between Read online

  And it’s only gotten worse as the days go by. I went from living my life like a freaking monk, not wanting to get close to anyone—much less a girl—and now getting as close as humanly possible to one, with or without clothes is all I seem to be able to think about.

  Emery is making me lose my mind.

  That’s gotta be the reason that when I had her pinned against the lockers, I could feel some action taking place south of the border. Why the look in her eyes after I kissed her only fueled my need to do it again until I had her melting and begging me for more.

  It’s gotta be her because this cannot be me. I don’t do this kind of thing.

  I don’t act like a total guy.

  Okay, look, I’m not a complete moron. I mean, I get what’s happening here isn’t all me. That it’s a biological thing and as natural as the sky being blue, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not doing everything humanly possible to reign it in, and with what just happened at my locker, failing miserably.

  It took weeks to get to this point. To be able to admit freely, not only to her, but to myself that I’m into her and that I’d really like to explore what the hell this intense need to be around her all the time means. The last thing I want to do is come on too strong, act like the horny ass guy I actually am and send her running for the hills with the same speed it took April to blow off Jonah earlier.

  The signs put me in her path for a reason and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t to get laid.

  So that’s what this puzzle night is about.

  I was telling the truth earlier. After my search for something else lead to the closet filled with boxes that my dad hadn’t gotten around to unpacking a few days ago and finding the puzzles, the idea came to me and I just knew I wanted her to be a part of it.

  A part of recreating something that once upon a time I had fun doing, while at the same time allowing me to spend time alone with her. Maybe even enjoying a little break here and there and getting to kiss her the way I can’t seem to stop doing since I asked her to be mine and she’d said yes.

  An innocent intent that once I’m near her, seems to get thrown out the window in favor of being a horny bastard.

  The only thing missing from me being a total dog was humping her leg before walking her to her car.

  “Six is fine.” She finally agrees once we’ve crossed the parking lot to her car. “It gives me time to get my homework out of the way and spend a little time with my mom.”

  “Are you sure she’s gonna be alright with you coming over?”

  “Probably not, but if it’s not, I’ll just wait for a little bit and tell her I’m going to hang out with Johnny. She never questions me about him.”

  “Isn’t that a little weird? I mean, she’s okay with you going out at night and hanging out with your best guy friend, but being out with some other guy makes her freak?”

  “No, it’s really not.” She confuses me as she laughs. “When you do finally get to meet her, you’ll see why. I swear, sometimes when those two are together, she sees the son she wanted but never had. So when I say I’m going out with him, she just figures I’m with my brother and it’s all good.”

  “Even after the flowers?”

  “Yep. I don’t get it, but as long as it gives me an escape from the house, I don’t need to.” Moving away from her position leaning against the driver’s side of her car, she steps forward and into me, reaching up when her eyes catch mine lowering and running her finger down my cheek and across my jawline. “You’ll see me tonight. It’s all good.”

  With a quick brush of her lips against mine, she turns back to the car and slides in, starting it before lowering the window and flashing me what I’m sure is supposed to be a reassuring smile, but for reasons I don’t understand, fails to meet its mark.

  “Do me a favor?”

  “Sure.”

  “Grab more than one puzzle. With what I’ve got in mind, one isn’t going to be enough.”

  Grinning and shooing me away from the door, she blows me a kiss before pulling away, leaving me completely locked in place as my mind goes into overdrive reading into what the true meaning of those words mean.

  How the hell am I supposed to keep myself in check when she does things that only make it worse?

  Emery was right earlier.

  I really am a total guy. One that’s got it in the worst way.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Emery

  Okay, here goes. I’m gonna do it.

  I’ve spent the entire hour since I’ve been home going over all of the different ways I can ask, and every possible reaction she might have, and I think I’ve perfected it enough to get what I’m after.

  With as good a mood as she seems to be in since she got in the door, flittering around in the kitchen and humming as she goes back and forth preparing dinner, I’m feeling pretty good.

  Someone that happy can’t possibly say no. It’s just not right.

  “Hey, Mom?”

  “Yeah honey?” she calls over her shoulder from her spot stirring noodles at the stove. My need to talk not distracting her in the slightest.

  “Do you mind if I go out for a bit after dinner?”

  If I thought it was going to be that easy, I was in for a rude awakening. Lifting her head and turning away from the pot, she gives me her full attention as the inquisition begins.

  “Go out where, and better yet, with who?”

  “Just a friend from school.”

  Resting her one arm at her side, she levels me with her best mom look and not about to do it only halfway, her foot also starts tapping.

  She’s onto me.

  “Would this be a certain raggedy haired blonde boy that likes to clean out my fridge every other day?”

  “No Mom, it’s not Johnny.”

  “Then who pre-tell is this mysterious friend that you won’t name, yet want me to agree to let you go out on a school night to see?”

  Oh gross. Even her tone has changed now. She’s in full on mom mode.

  “Chris.” I admit easily, the combination of her tone, tapping foot and serious stance working its magic. “His dad’s going out and he doesn’t want to be there alone.”

  “So, not only are you asking to go out on a school night, but it’s to see a boy that I haven’t even met yet? In a home that’s going to be completely free of adult supervision? Emery…”

  I’ve got to nip this in the butt before she goes any further. I can already see the no forming and I can’t let her go through it. She has to know by now that I’m not the type of girl to go out and hook up with random guys. If I can just remind her of that, maybe I can salvage this and still pull out a win.

  “He just wants to hang out and do puzzles, Mom. Besides, it’s not like that.”

  “I realize that I’ve been distracted lately, but you can’t possibly think I’m so distracted that I wouldn’t notice how flimsy that explanation is.”

  “It’s the truth.” Backing out of the kitchen and heading for my bag, I pull out my phone where the text messages from Christian are there lying in wait. Walking back in and waiting until she turns back to face me, I hand it over.

  “Read the messages. It’s something that means a lot to him so I wanna do it. I’ve never lied to you before and I wouldn’t start now. Especially not using that as an excuse.”

  Watching her eyes move up and down as she reads, I resist the urge to copy her and start tapping my foot in anticipation of her response.

  “I thought you said that you wanted to go hang out with Chris? Why does it say Mikey at the top of the screen?”

  “It’s my nickname for him. I know you know all about that considering the way you named Grandma in your phone.”

  She called her own mother Gigantic Headache. Hand to God.

  “Thanks for the reminder, but you can leave your grandmother out of it. What she’s named in my phone has nothing to do with the subject currently being discussed.”

  “Just explaining, Mom. So can I go or not?”
>
  “Emery…”

  Ignoring her sigh, I forge ahead. I really want to have this time with Christian and I’m not going to give up until I get it. Call it my one act of real rebellion, but even if I have to climb out the window later, I’m not missing it.

  “I never ask for anything, Mom. I come home right after school every day when I don’t have work on the paper, I do my homework and eat dinner with you. I don’t bug you for anything, and I think by now I’ve proven myself enough that you know that when I say I’m going there for puzzles, I mean it. Besides, aren’t you the one that said I needed to branch out and meet new people?”

  “Yes I did, but I was thinking a nice girl.”

  “Well, think of Chris like a girl if it makes it easier to accept. He basically is anyway with all the time we spend together.”

  Crap. I went too far, and with the way her ears seem to stand at attention and her eyes go big, it’s about to get all Spanish Inquisition up in here.

  “All the time you’ve been spending together, huh? Care to share exactly what it is you mean by that?”

  “School. We’ve been partnered in music class so we’ve been meeting in the mornings. I told you about this at the start of the year.”

  “And?”

  No way. I gave her that. It’s gotta be enough.

  “And nothing. That’s it.”

  “I don’t believe you, but you did manage to make a pretty convincing argument.”

  I did?

  “Of course I did. Looks like the law class last year paid off after all.”

  “Yes. You have a very promising career as a lawyer if that’s the path you take, but that’s not the point here, and if you want to eat at some point tonight, let’s get back on topic.”

  “What did I say?”

  “You have earned my trust. You’ve gone out of your way to do as I ask and follow all of my rules without complaint. I have all the faith and trust in the world in you, but the same can’t be said for the young man you want to spend the night with.”

  “Eww, Mom! You make it sound so tawdry. He wants to hang out and do puzzles, not make a sex tape.”

  “Emery Rose!” she exclaims and all I can do is laugh. If she didn’t expect that kind of response then she doesn’t know me as well as she thinks. She walked right into it when she accused Christian of being anything other than on the up and up.

  Hell, she has more to worry about when it comes to Johnny than she does Christian, and I didn’t admit to actually liking him.

  “What?”

  “If you want me to agree to you going, it might be wise not to bring sex tapes into it.”

  Call me crazy, but there’s something about the way she says it that makes me think I may have actually broken her down enough to say yes. I know I was confident in my ability to sell her earlier, but I also knew what a stickler she is for her rules and how going to Christian’s would be breaking every single one.

  “I’m sorry, but does that mean what I think it means?”

  Turning her attention away to stir the noodles and check on the simmering meat, moving it around the pan a few times and making me almost crawl out of my skin with anticipation, she finally turns back and with a smile, nods.

  “There’s conditions.”

  “Anything. Name it and I’ll do it, be it, get it, whatever.”

  “You have to go upstairs and finish your homework and let me know when you’re heading out. Also, be home and in bed no later than ten.”

  “Done, Done and Done. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I exclaim, bridging the gap between us and throwing my arms around her midsection just as she turns her attention back to the dinner.

  “Just don’t make me regret taking this chance.”

  “Never.”

  Planting a loud and very wet kiss on her cheek as she leans into the tight squeeze I have on her, I head up to my room to get started on the first of her conditions, all the while thinking with each step I take just how much fun I’m going to have not keeping any of the other ones.

  Teenage Rebellion here I come.

  Christian

  “What did I tell ya? I knew that once you got into the swing of things, you’d end up liking it here.”

  If by swing of things you mean music class, and by liking you mean Emery, maybe.

  “How long are you home for this time?”

  Changing the subject. Something I’ve become the king of since we moved, he started dating, and I started spending every waking moment with Emery. Something that has to happen since this is the second time this week he’s walked in on me smiling like a goober after reading something Emery sent.

  We’re gonna end up getting into it and I’m gonna have to bring her around so he can meet her, but since this is all so damn new, I want to be able to keep it mine a little longer. It’s not like he can just shut off being a cop when he meets her. He never could before.

  “Long enough to hear dinner ideas from my son before grabbing a shower and a shave.”

  “So an hour?”

  “Something like that.” He gives up easily and I don’t know whether to be thankful or pissed.

  Look, I’m not some little kid anymore. I don’t need to have my dad here all the time, especially if he’s going to go all detective on me, but it wouldn’t be so bad to have him around every once in a while.

  I swear since we moved, he’s at work or out with this new lady more than he is here.

  “Something on your mind, Chris?”

  “Nope. Nothing.”

  “And you obviously forget what your old man does for a living.”

  “Just once can you not bring your job into a conversation? I know you’re a superhero, Dad. You don’t need to keep reminding me.”

  “Now I know there’s something on your mind. It’s been at least a year since you snapped at me like that. I was starting to think I would never have the pleasure of hearing it again.”

  He’s making light of my attitude, trying to make it seem like I’m not being a total brat right now, but where that should be enough to smarten me up, it seems to only make me worse.

  “You’re never here, alright? I mean, if you’re not texting me and saying you’ve got some case that just needs every damn second of your attention, you’re telling me that I’m on my own for dinner. Sorry if that messes with the pretty picture you painted about living here.”

  Crossing the room and lowering himself into the recliner, he crosses his arms and leans forward, his expression not stern or angry the way I expect with the way I’m acting, but actually focused and what I think is open for discussion.

  That’s a first.

  “How long have you been feeling this way?”

  “Please don’t treat me like a suspect. Don’t interrogate me.”

  “I’m not, son. I’m trying to understand. Hear you out, which according to you, I haven’t been around enough lately to do.”

  Who is this guy and what did he do with the real Nick Cayne?

  “Since we got here? I don’t know, a few months? But it was like this before we left Port Hope too. It’s been going on for a while now, Dad.”

  “So why haven’t you said anything before?”

  “I would have, but you know, you’d have to be home for longer than a shower to be able to.”

  “That’s fair.”

  I want to be able to speak up and tell him that he’s been like this since mom died, but with as happy as he seemed to be when he came in, not to mention how relaxed, I know I can’t do it. As long as I’ve been holding back, I might as well keep it going a little longer. It’s what’s best for everyone.

  “I know I’ve been caught up at work and out a lot with Rosie when I do have the time off. I just figured with as old as you are now, you’d rather have a root canal than hang out with your old man.”

  “Well, you thought wrong.”

  “Evidently.”

  “I know everything you’re doing is for me. I’m not an idiot, but before we move
d, we actually had guy’s nights. Poker, movies, karaoke, it didn’t matter what we were doing, because we were doing it together. It made it a lot easier not to miss her every damn second when we were doing other shit.”

  It’s the first time I’ve mentioned her since we moved and it’s a risk even doing it in the small way I am now. I know how he felt about her, how even now I’m positive he still misses her like he would miss air to breathe if it was gone, but I need to get my point across somehow, even if it means using the truth about the way things were then.

  I already lost one parent. I’m not looking to lose another.

  “Then it’s settled. Once a week, we call a time out on life and start hanging out again.”

  Can it really be that easy? I say the way I’m feeling and he admits he’s wrong and we get back to the way it should be?

  “You mean it?”

  “Wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t. I meant what I said, Chris. If I had known you were feeling this way for as long as you’re saying you have, I would have done whatever I could to change it. I’m aware that I wasn’t the only one who made the move, and that I let work and other stuff get in the way, forgetting about you. But that changes now.”

  Relief.

  That’s what I’m feeling right now.

  I should have said something sooner.

  “So what do you want for dinner?”

  “Aren’t you going out?”

  “I am, but the funny thing about these little gadgets you teens carry around like a lifeline. They can actually call other people, write words and have others read them at the press of the send button. If you want me to hang around for dinner, then that’s what I’m doing. In fact, it sounds like the perfect idea. You can tell me what you’ve been up to the last couple of days that’s been making you smile.”

  Nope. No way. So much nope on that idea.

  In as many years as we’ve been together on our own, we’ve never been the heart to heart type. I’m not looking to start now. Maybe he should just shower and go out like he planned.

  “Nah, it’s alright. Go do what you planned. I can just order something in.”